then & there to here & now

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

i sleep alone

but every night i think of you 

and in my dreams 

i wander down your avenue

i wake up

wishing that you had a clue

and all my days 

i wonder what i should do

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

and if i cry myself to sleep tonight

i hope you know it's not because of you

and all the things you failed to do

i just can't give anymore

and what i've got not's enough

i think i'm carrying around too much stuff

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

so i shake it off and count to ten

wait till i can breathe again

push it to the back of my mind

try to let myself unwind

forget what was said, forget how i feel

almost wish loving you didn't have to be real

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

i look at you and

wonder what you see

when you're staring 

back at me

1, 2, 3 & 4

i won't worry 

anymore

cuz worry worry

thoughts a flurry

you got me here

i ain't going

nowheres, dear

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

these were all poems i wrote while me and nate were dating. i know they are kinda sad, but i feel like anything worth having is worth fighting for. never in my life had i wanted anything more than to be with nate forever. in that two and a half year span there were definitely some low points but neither of us ever gave up on each other and i think it helped our relationship become stronger {and me much much more patient}. i think if everything had always been super perfect it wouldn't have felt real.

i dunno if this is totally weird but i'm grateful for those struggles- everything we went thru helped us to get to where we are now. and yes, life {in general} is still not perfect, but nate is so perfect for me and i love that we are in it together. when we were dating i used to always say, "nate, let's go on an adventure! let's go exploring!" and i feel like that's what we've been able to do together- explore life and have our own little adventures . . . and maybe no one else would think anything about our lives are extra special but to me any time i get to spend with nate is so wonderful, exciting, and adventurous :)