thoughts of you

doubt flashes over hills of inconspicuous realizations 

sharp and stinging 

like the lightning that electrocutes my soul 

leaving me numb and tingly 

every time i close my eyes and see your face. 

it takes me back to another time 

when the air was thick with golden sun rays 

and my head was filled with you, 

when the world glowed with unnaturally vibrant hues

and the only thing 

worth reaching out to was your sweet embrace 

suffocating me with warmth and often unruly passion 

intoxicatingly frivolous

i was then, blinded by that light that shone 

from the depths of your eyes 

like the moon resurfacing a lake after hiding 

in the menacing clouds. 

your voice rings in my ears, but not the way it should 

it's angry, upset 

i overcorrect- losing balance once again 

my thoughts wander aimlessly

like they're lost in a dark forest unable to decide which path to choose 

for each pricks me with a sense of fear. 

lack of bravery and undeveloped determination 

play key 

in my melancholy melodic symphony. 

the soft tune pounds in my veins throughout the entirety of my existence 

making it impossible to sleep 

without dreaming of the if's and then's that engulf my thoughts 

holding me prisoner in myself. 

escaping excluded from the options i weigh 

i'm forced to live with me

...and thoughts of you from day to ever ending day.